


A Birthday Wish

by ninwrites



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood-centric, Birthday Fluff, Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Family Feels, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, Gen, Happy Birthday Alec Lightwood, Kinda?, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, NO IMMORTALITY ANGST, Not today, Post-Canon, Romantic Fluff, Self-Indulgent, Slice of Life, True Love, actual husbands, really not a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninwrites/pseuds/ninwrites
Summary: There's only one thing Alec wants for his birthday.





	A Birthday Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alec Lightwood](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Alec+Lightwood).



> This is more than just a birthday fic, it is a homage to my all-time favourite character - Alec Lightwood has taught me so much, from how to accept myself and my sexuality, to how important it is to fight for love and what you believe in. 
> 
> This is also for every single lovely, lovely person out there who has spun my world on it's head and who continue to support me and my writing - I hope you know who you are just as I hope you understand how grateful I am ❤
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

 

"You have to go."

Alec shrugs, nonchalantly, scrubbing a cloth over the marble countertop. It's calming, for him, potting his way around the kitchen, until it's nice and clean and spotless. Magnus has long since given up on trying to convince Alec that his magic can do just as good of a job, because it's quite pointless, and there's something endearing about watching Alec go about what has essentially become just another part of his daily routine.

Magnus hovers in the doorway, silk robe pulling at his folded arms. "I don't," He says, softly. "Tessa simply called me in because she knows me. I'm sure there are other warlocks fit to provide assistance."

A fond smile threatens to tug at Alec's mouth. "You and I both know that Tessa called you because you are the only person fit to provide assistance." He drops the cloth, shoulders drooped. "I understand Mags, really - it's no different than last month, when I had to flit off to Idris for an emergency consult with the Academy."

Building up a school from the ground-up with a new outlook, and different curricular, is hard enough without having to convince parents that their kids are perfectly safe being taught by Downworlders. Fortunately, most of the parents are quite respectful and simply want the best for their children, irrespective of who teaches it to them.

It's the rare few that speak the loudest, though, and Alec had spent half a week playing diplomat to bigoted parents who either weren't aware, or didn't give much of a damn about his very public relationship or his  _job_.

He's still Head of the New York Institute, but he is, also, a consultant with the Downworlder Cabinet and a firm instigator of building and strengthening positive and healthy Shadowhunter/Downworlder relations. It's ridiculous how many people  _conveniently_  forget all of that, and see him as just another blind, thoughtless Shadowhunter.

He hasn't spent almost half a decade trying to destroy the archaic, prejudiced view towards Downworlders that seems to be ingrained into the minds of most Shadowhunters, just to have people assume he genuinely believes it.

"This is a little longer than three days," Magnus points out, quietly. "A week, at minimum." He shifts closer, robe pulled taut around him. "Possibly longer. No one has quite been able to get to the root of the disappearances, which is why they're calling me in."

Alec casts his gaze side-ways, mouth pulled in the soft hint of a smile. "Because you're the best." He states. A fact, and a truth, all rolled into a soft-spoken sentiment. "Look, we both know that you're going, so there's no point trying to argue about this."

Alec sighs, turning around to face Magnus' devastatingly open gaze. "They need you. I know you aren't the kind to refuse help to people who need it, because you're too good for that. You're going to go, and solve the problem because you're also incredibly intelligent; the apartment, and myself, will still be here whenever it is that you inevitably return."

Magnus shakes his head, the gesture achingly fond. "I hate that you're being responsible. Where's that hot-shot, spirited young Shadowhunter who shut down his own wedding and barreled down the aisle to drag me in by the lapels of my very expensive jacket?"

"I've always been responsible," Alec claims, sidling closer, abandoning the cloth on the bench. "That was about the repression of feelings and desires and the destruction of stone walls." He inclines his head, thoughtfully. "We are talking about the first time I walked down an aisle, yes?"

Magnus rolls his eyes. "The second time you walked down an aisle was  _with_ me, not to me." A fond smile betrays his put-upon irritation. "That actually brings up another point - where's the man who spontaneously added another week to our honeymoon simply because he wanted to? Where did that dashing, devil-may-care Shadowhunter go?"

Alec rubs at his wedding ring with his thumb, almost instinctively. There's a glow inside his chest as bright as the sun that had shone down on them, on that little island where they'd spent almost a month alone just enjoying the other's company, away from demons and clients and the neverending chasm between their people.

It's been years, but still the warmth persists.

"That  _dashing_  Shadowhunter grew up." Alec points out, stepping closer, his arm brushing against Magnus' with the barest touch. "And learnt that there are times where duty really does come before want. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

Magnus exhales dramatically, gaze cast skyward. "Why did I fall for someone with such steadfast, honourable morals?"

"You did worse than that," Alec presses a kiss to Magnus' robe-clad shoulder. "You married me."

Magnus groans, but the source of his blinding grin is undeniable. "Alas, what tragedy." His gaze narrows, sliding to Alec's with calculated hesitance. "Did you just quote a mundane film?"

Alec buries his face in the crook of Magnus' neck, lips pressed to his collarbone. "It's Simon's fault." He claims, even though they both know he'd actually enjoyed it.

"Of course," Magnus says, dropping a kiss to the top of Alec's head. They stand there, close but not suffocating, comfortable in the silence even as the heavy weight of the next few days pushes down on them both.

"I'm going to miss you." Alec whispers the words into Magnus' skin, one hand wrapping around his waist.

Magnus' laughs, but there's nothing funny about it. "You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you." He cradles the back of Alec's head, fingers brushing the nape of his neck in a soothing gesture, though for exactly whom it is not clear. "I wish I didn't have to go."

"I'm sure a lot of people wish that," Alec replies, gently. "Good people are needed the most when bad things happen - and that, babe, is you."

It was never a question, of whether Magnus would go or not, because his heart is too big to refuse help to those who need it. It's one of the many, many things that Alec loves about him.

Missing him is a small discomfort to pay for the proud knowledge that he's helping save lives.

 

* * *

 

"You're here early."

Alec continues his quick scan of the report shining on his tablet screen, something about a cluster of Kappa demons by the South Street Seaport. "I had a stack of paperwork left over from last night that I hadn't gotten to. No point making any more unnecessary work for myself."

Isabelle shuts the door to his office behind her, heels clicking on the hardwood floor. "Did Magnus make it to the Spiral Labyrinth safely?"

Alec thinks of the thin parchment, slipped into the third drawer of his desk, the message contained within for his eyes only. "A few hours ago, yeah."

He'd left at around three, whispering promises and reassurances against Alec's skin. They both knew that nothing could be guaranteed, but Alec pretended to believe him anyway, because it made them both feel better, however temporarily. Just as Magnus had pretended to believe Alec, when he promised he'd get a few more hours of sleep before his first meeting.

Alec was in the office before dawn, and has been working since. It's easier, to keep his mind off the worry and fear creeping behind him like an unwanted second shadow. He's usually okay when Magnus is gone, but this isn't a consult with the High Warlock of Nicosia or trip to the Borobudur temple in Central Java - warlocks, fairly young and generally inexperienced, have been disappearing without even a whisper or a trace of a magical imprint.

Alec's worry is founded, Magnus wouldn't have been called out so urgently if it wasn't, but there isn't anything he can do about it; he doesn't have the appropriate skills to lend, and besides that, it isn't a Shadowhunter issue.

All he can do is his own job, which he's attempting - there's simply only so far that demonic reports will lend to distracting before his worries return with reinforcements.

"He's going to be okay." Isabelle says, heading towards the other end of the room, towards the ornate doors that hide away the sun. She pulls them open, leaking in light that Alec had been hoping to keep out.

Far easier to wallow in his own self-pity if the room is as dark as his thoughts. Sunshine implies happiness and that is not a feeling that can exist in harmony with his relentless concern.

"Of course he is." Alec says, voice harsh but not snapping. "He's the High Warlock of Brooklyn." Alec nips anxiously at his bottom lip, gaze cast towards the thin silver band on his left hand. Magnus' is silver, too, there's simply a bold  _L_  stamped in the middle of it. A family heirloom, of many sorts.

"You're allowed to be worried, Alec." Isabelle spins, basked in the ridiculously blinding light pouring into the room. "This isn't an ordinary consultation. And it's  _Magnus_. Your husband - I'd be distraught if it was Simon out in the field."

"That's because Simon is barely a Shadowhunter." Alec doesn't bother refraining an eye-roll. "Magnus has more experience than this entire Institute combined."

"He's powerful," Isabelle agrees. "However, invinceable, he is not." She crosses towards his desk slowly, folding herself gracefully into a chair opposite him. "I don't imagine anything will happen to him, but you're perfectly validated in feeling concern, and I am here for you, if you want to talk about it. Or just, rant. Vent. Cry."

"I don't need to cry." Alec replies. He's perfectly composed, Magnus has barely been gone for a day. Alec rubs at his collarbone, fingers pressed firmly to bone. It's the immovable heaviness on his chest, that bothers him the most, the taunting, nagging voice at the back of his mind that won't  _shut up._

"The offer remains."

Alec takes in Isabelle's sincere smile, the lack of anything teasing, the suggestions of dinner and breakfast and walks around the block that he can practically see ticking over in her mind, just to keep his mind off things, to make sure he is as okay as he claims he is.

"I appreciate it, Iz. Thank you."

Isabelle stands up, patting his hand from across the desk with a grin that doesn't falter. "Anytime, brother dear. I'm off to train these new recruits - if you want to let some frustration out, a lot of them need a good knock-around."

"I already have a pretty filled schedule," Alec shrugs. "And another meeting at noon."

Isabelle nods, understanding, and then adds: "I'll block out an hour in the afternoon, for you. Might be a good lesson for them, to spar against the Head of the Institute, this generation's hero, the leader of LGBT-"

"Isabelle, please," Alec waves a dismissing hand, unable to keep the laughter out of his tone. His sister was born with the ability to tear away his resolve. "I have work to do."

Even after half-a-decade, it's still a bit of a shock to his system, that his determination to live for himself and chase after what he wants, in spite of any negativity cast in response, has encouraged other young Shadowhunters - and some older - to be honest and open about who they are, and who they love.

The flood of humbling fire-messages and people who'd come up to him at events, gushing over how honoured they are to meet him, how much of an inspiration he is to them and countless others - all of that had only increased tenfold after his and Magnus' wedding. He can barely go a week without contact of some kind, and it's incredibly lovely, but still not something he knows how to deal with.

It's a lot of attention for something he doesn't think really deserves it. He hasn't done anything all that special, he simply fell in love, and with that, discovered that being honest with himself provided more happiness than keeping who he is a secret.

It's becoming more accepted within Shadowhunter society, and he couldn't be happier about it - but he isn't the cause of it, and taking responsibility feels a bit like he's cheating out other people who put just as much effort as him, more than, Shadowhunters before him who died without telling people they loved someone else for fear of the reaction.

He's not letting the opinions of others stop him from living his life, and being happy. That's it. It's only a big deal because being happy, for him, comes from his relationship with a male Downworlder.

"You're a role-model, Alec." Isabelle pulls the door back, glancing at him with the kind of teasing glint that's so familiar it comforts him, in a weird way. "The sooner you accept it, the easier it will be."

Isabelle has a point, as always, but Alec stopped blindly following other people's requests years ago. Her point is, at the core of it, to ease his concerns - if temporarily - and they both know it.

Isabelle's endless care is one of a thousand reasons Alec is grateful they're related. He isn't sure he'd survive Magnus' absence without her.

 

* * *

 

"You look like a mess."

Alec slumps down in the corner of the booth, hands cradling his glass beer jug. "Thanks, Maia. I really love these pep talks we have. Best part of my day."

Maia slides into the booth opposite him, a glass of sangria in hand. She doesn't bartend at the Hunter's Moon anymore, but she's still close with the people who work there, and she's admitted in the past that a part of her misses it.

A small part, that is quickly shut down by the rather vocal part that doesn't miss getting spat or unnecessarily hit on - alcohol affects people in strange ways, and a Downworlder's composition tends to increase the urge to act on uninhibited desires. Happens with Shadowhunters, too, although Alec has so rarely been  _drunk_ that the few times alcohol has had any serious effect on him, he'd simply became a lot softer and care-free.

Maia is, instead, juggling a teaching position at NYU and a position as co-leader of the New York wolf pack; when Luke decides that he wants a break, she steps up and helps him out, with Bat as  _her_  right-hand.

And occasionally, when the mood strikes, she has drinks with Alec because they're both secretly bitter people who understand the necessity for balanced emotions.

"I'm just telling you like it is, Alec." Maia smiles, genuine despite the sour curl of her mouth. "That's what friends are for - or so I'm told."

Alec laughs, a breathy huff, which is apparently all that Maia is looking for. She winks at him over her glass, lips pulled into a teasing smirk. It's only once he's taken a cold sip of his beer that she speaks up, again.

"How are you doing?" She asks. "Really."

Alec shrugs. His wedding ring clinks against his glass, as though he needs a reminder that his husband is in another country, if not another dimension by this point.

"I'm fine." He says, a lie even to his own ears.

Maia actually snorts, poking at his foot with her own beneath the table. "You're not, but I appreciate the attempt. Want to tell me the truth, or are we going to pretend that I believe you?"

Alec traces an idle shape against his jug, his fingertips bit by the cold glass. "What am I supposed to say? I'm not okay, but I can't exactly do anything about it either. This is his job, there are people who are depending on him to help them."

"You can worry." Maia points out, eyes dark and piercing, yet endlessly kind. "No one is going to blame you for that. Not even the people Magnus is saving."

"You sound like Isabelle."

Maia doesn't appear too bothered by that. "She's a smart woman," Maia tilts her glass, in a faux-impression of a toast. "With good taste. And she's right." Her expression softens. "Have you heard anything from him?"

"Not since yesterday." Alec concentrates on his chilled fingertips, the foot pressed to his beneath the table, rather than the painful twisted cord in his chest. "He Skyped me from Tessa's office, said they were about to portal to a convergence, see if they can get any information from that."

Maia frowns. "That's it? That's the contact you've had? He's already been gone for three days."

Alec shrugs, placating fatigue. "We had a quick talk, I filled him in on things here, he promised he'd be safe, we exchanged I love you's, but - he's got things to do, and the connection in the Spiral Labyrinth isn't exactly reliable, not with so much magic interference. We're lucky to get the time we did."

Maia shakes her head, in exasperation, but she gets it, Alec can see that she understands and it's more than anyone else has been able to give him. They all say that they understand, and offer any support and care that they can, and he appreciates it, but they don't quite get it to the level that Maia does.

"The two of you are an inspiration," She says, raising her glass in a toast. Alec clinks, not that he really understands what for.

"How so?" He asks.

He's been told that he inspires people, for his leadership and his defeating the norm - and his relationship with Magnus has, more often than not, been an interesting point of discussion around the Shadow World's greatest gossips; but this is different.

This isn't gossip or envy, this is - different.

"For, what, half a decade? More? You've managed to juggle your respective roles, and your relationship, and despite every hardship thrown your way, you always end up the victors. You walk through fire without a burn," The corner of Maia's mouth perks, something amusing her that Alec has clearly missed. "You're so different, and yet you are the healthiest couple I know. I mean, I'm jealous, but I'm also very impressed."

Alec loves Maia's brutal honesty, loves how well it suits his frank inability to lie, but her brand of honesty is rarely this gentle, and it's throwing him off a bit.

"We work hard at our relationship," He feels a bit like he's bragging, but it's the truth, it's all he knows. "It's not easy, and we have troubles as much as anyone else, but we learnt a long time ago not to let it get in the way of  _us_."

Maia hums, thoughtfully, then props her head onto her fist, dark eyes glittering with warm and mischievous intent. "So, then. What  _are_  Alec Lightwood's golden rules of marriage? Surely you've picked up on some tips and tricks along the way. Such a fairytale romance can't have been all sunshine and smiles."

"Roses have their thorns." Alec mutters.

It's not an easy question, and he'd feel a lot better if Magnus was there beside him, a comforting presence, a support, considering it takes two to tango, as Magnus so loves to say. But Magnus isn't there, and Maia is, and she's doing her best to keep him distracted from Magnus' absence, though not his existence, because she knows as well as Alec does that he could never stop thinking of Magnus, even if he tried.

"Never go to bed angry," Alec ticks it off his index finger. "That is one of the most important ones. It festers and bubbles, and you end up throwing stuff at each other that you don't mean, that you never meant to say, and it's never worth it. Give yourselves time to cool down, absolutely, because simmering anger isn't helpful, but don't leave it overnight."

Maia nods. "That makes sense. Might not be the easiest thing for me," Their laughter mingles, low and warm. "But I can see the appeal."

"The best things in life are rarely easy, but the effort you put in is what makes it all worth it." Alec brushes his knuckles against his jaw, thoughtfully. "I mean, I think it all depends on you, no relationship is the same as another, but so long as you are both willing to put effort into it, and you both care, then you can make it. Even the darkest times shine with a bit of light."

"You, sir, are a paragon of wise advice." Maia states, saluting him with a grin that borders on a smirk.

Alec lets out a small laugh, as something inside him loosens, albeit - he knows - temporarily. "Probably what happens when you spend half of your life keeping Jace and Iz out of trouble, and the rest married to an immortal. You pick up a few things along the way."

Maia leans forward, grin silly and light. Alec remembers, when it was rare to see her smile, when anger and bitter hate coursed through her veins like poison, where her world was filled with nothing but darkness and fractured hope.

Maia is, these days, the happiest anyone has ever seen her, the happiest - she says - she's ever been. Everyone is. Moving on past wars and death and the horrors they'd all suffered through had been far from easy, but they all made it out alive, and the past has been left where it belongs.

It's good to see Maia happy, good to see everyone happy. It's good to  _feel_  happy. Even if it is for just a fleeting moment.

 

* * *

 

It's been six days, and Alec can feel himself going a tad stir-crazy.

It's the unknown that bothers him the most, the fact that for three days now he's had no contact with Magnus, nothing to let him know that Magnus is safe - bar the  _M_  ring wrapped around his thumb, humming away with connective energy, an imprint of Magnus' magic left within the metal - effective in much the same way that the omamori charm works in letting Magnus know Alec is safe.

Still. Knowing that Magnus is okay is no comparison to hearing his voice, seeing him with Alec's own eyes, holding him tight, heartbeat against heartbeat.

Alec spends more time at the Institute than he does anywhere else, turning up before dawn and not leaving until the sky is a twinkling canvas of stars that do little more than remind him he's alone.

He's been productive, though. His desk is clear of paperwork, his office rearranged to better suit his needs - a task he'd been intending on for a while - and he's been helping Jace out with the new influx of Shadowhunters from the Academy, offering one-on-one sessions with anyone who feels that they need it, and explaining to them that being a Shadowhunter involves more than just stabbing demons.

It's been an interesting change of pace, and he's always liked helping people out; knowing that he's shaping the next generation of Shadowhunters, those without prejudice or out-dated viewpoints, those with care and a deeper understanding of how the world works, is a privilege.

However, that only proves to distract him during the day, while he's kept within the hub of the Institute walls, his mind too busy to spare thought to anything else.

Nights, have never felt so lonely.

"Maybe we should get a cat," Alec mutters aloud, to no one but himself, as he potters around the kitchen. "Keep one of us company while the other is gone."

He turns on the coffee machine, because although it's late he has patrol schedules to organise, and Isabelle had shooed him from the Institute before he could get the rest of his work done. It feels a little petty, drinking coffee at such an inappropriate time, yet it also thrills him in the way doing things he shouldn't as a teenager used to.

He's closer to his thirties than he is his teens, but some things, it seems, never change.

"I mean, I like cats. Cats are cute. And I know that Magnus loves cats." Alec continues, because he's already started talking to himself, it's not like he can be accused of being any crazier. "It's not like commitmentwill be a problem, we're  _married_."

They've talked about kids, before, but only in the abstract  _one day that would be fantastic_ sense. It's too improbable to entertain at present, with the Shadowhunter/Downworlder alliance, the reopening of the Academy, and their already hectic schedules, a child would shake up their world more than they're ready for. It is a possibility for the future, though, which warms Alec's chest, because having kids, having a family, is something he's always wanted.

There'd been a dark time, where he doubted he'd be able to have any of that, but such a time is long behind him. He has the job he's always wanted, he's  _married_  to the love of his life, who happens to be a man, and one day, there's a high chance he'll adopt children to add to his little family.

Just, not yet.

Alec stirs sugar into his coffee, thoughts stuck on what it would be like to have a little kid running around beneath their feet, a lounge scattered with toys, a high chair tacked on the end of the dining table, endless laughter and bright smiles to come home to.

Madzie has grown into a well-rounded teenager now, but Alec remembers her when they met, when she was young and full of joy despite the hardships that life had thrown at her, that contagious innocence that makes everything feel a little lighter than it really is.

Alec twists the handle of the study, humming beneath his breath a tune that takes him an unfortunately long time to remember. It's only once he sits at his desk, tucked in the corner somewhat diagonally to Magnus', opposite the sprawling wall of shelves upon shelves of books of varying sizes and content, that he realises what the song is.

_It's a promise I'm making to you; whatever may come, your heart, I will choose. Forever I'm yours, forever I do._

Alec smiles, giddy and sweet, as he settles at his desk. The song from their wedding, their first dance, which was not so much a dance as a tiny sway, arms wrapped tight around each other, heads bowed to the attention of only themselves, noses bumping softly and uninhibited smiles pressed together.

If he had to choose one moment as the best day of his life, that would be it - but truthfully, every day since meeting Magnus can be counted as one of the best days in his life.

It's a soothing reminder, but not enough to chase off the loneliness clinging to him. He sips at his coffee, bitter and hot, and starts shuffling through the papers on his desk. He knows that he has performance reviews somewhere, to better craft patrol teams that will work best together, without any unforeseen complications, because a lot of these new recruits are young and they're still learning how to work with people they don't like.

These patrols are practice for the new Shadowhunters, exercises in how to act and fight out in the field because a lot of them have never been ambushed by demons, or attacked out of nowhere, and it's skills for handling  _that_  which they'll need to build up before they're left to their own devices.

Alec moves his mug aside, because the last thing he needs is to spill coffee all over his documents. He continues a futile search, finding everything - financial reports, files from the lab, fire messages from the Clave that he's still pretending he hasn't gotten because he has enough of a headache without their presence, propositions for promotional roles - but not the performance reviews.

Heaving a deep sigh, and pushing down the urge to just go to sleep, Alec pulls open the top drawer, hoping he might have shoved it in their by accident, or something.

"Seriously..." He mutters, shifting nondescript papers.

It's odd, because he likes to believe that he's quite an independant person, and he prefers to do things himself as opposed to using magic like Magnus tends to, which is entirely his prerogative - but after so many years with Magnus, there's a few things that Alec takes for granted. Such as Magnus deciding that Alec's frustration is palpable enough to warrant help, and waving a hand to find the required documents for him.

Alec isn't dependant on Magnus' magic, but he does think that a part of him is dependant on Magnus'  _presence_.

"It's almost been a week," Alec mutters to himself. "By all rights, Magnus should be home soon. Another week, maybe, I can make it another - aha!"

He pulls the performance reviews out with triumph, so pleased with his discovery that he almost misses the red envelope sitting beneath - which is perplexing because it is a  _very bright_  envelope.

Alec drops the reviews onto the desk, fingers itching towards the envelope. It's smooth, the name on the front written with a gentle pressure in a swirling script that is achingly familiar.

"Oh, Mags." He whispers, heart clenching in his chest.

Alec pushes the tab of the envelope open with his thumb, careful not to rip it. He's not sure why he's so surprised, it's an entirely Magnus thing to do, and more than that, simply something they do, a tradition of sorts.

Alec remembers writing small messages on coloured post-it notes to stick around the house before he left for Idris last month, messages about Magnus' beautiful smile on the mirror, reminders to eat stuck to the fridge, well wishes for sweet dreams stuck to Magnus' desk lamp, because Alec knows how invested Magnus can get in his work, continuing tirelessly without someone there to encourage him to put himself first.

Alec has lost count of how many times people have commented on their sappy relationship, he knows that they're a little over-the-top, but it's because they care, and after all they've been through they deserve to tell, and show, each other just how much love they hold.

Not that Alec believes his love is quantifiable anyway.

Alec lifts out the letter with one hand - because it is a letter, two pieces of elegant paper folded inside the envelope, written front and back - his other hand scrubbing at his face, fingers scratching at the stubble of his jaw.

_Dearest Alexander,_

_You found my handy little letter. Quaint, isn't it? I hope that you found it in a time you need it most, as I can't imagine I've returned yet. I'm sorry for keeping us apart - I know you said you're okay, just as I know that you aren't. I wish that I didn't have to leave, especially not at this time, but my heart warms at your selflessness in encouraging me to go. You've always been a rare one, a Shadowhunter with an open heart, but more than that, the biggest heart of any person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting._

_You are a force as powerful as magic, my love, and I cannot believe the luck I've won in being married to you._

 

Alec wipes furiously at his eyes, a vain attempt to keep the tears from staining the beautiful words before him.

_Time is nothing but a man-made concept, darling, and soon enough the distance between us will be nought. I know that this is something I must do, and that New York needs you to keep it safe, but a part of me, the part which is terribly selfish, wishes it wasn't so - truly, if I'm wishing anything, it's for us to take another honeymoon, for double the time._

 

Alec laughs through the shining tears, at the small yet very detailed proposal Magnus had drawn off to the side regarding just what he's decided they'll be doing on the honeymoon. The mini-them are wrapped in each other, and nothing else, and Alec wishes that the drawing was a little more physical, rather than just a penned imprint of a fool's dream.

_Soon enough I'll be back, having done the heroic thing and saved people, as you do everyday, and we'll be able to celebrate properly._

_My love, always._

_Magnus xx_

 

* * *

 

"Magnus is fine, before you ask." Alec lifts a placating hand, finishing his signature at the bottom of the report before looking up.

The central control room is buzzing, but not with demonic activity - it's an average day, the usual gossip flitting around the room, whispered from one ear to another. Alec doesn't really care if people are chatting, so long as they do their work, which as a general rule they are.

Or, most of them are.

Max folds his arms across his chest, eyebrow raised in a near-spitting image of Alec at his age. "That's not what I was going to ask." He replies, dry and monotone as ever. "Though I'm curious now. What's up?"

Alec drags a hand through his dishevelled hair. "Nothing, nothing-" It's been over a week, and Alec is clearly coping very well. "I'm just sick of people asking me about him at every second; I haven't learnt anything new."

"It's just like a kick in the balls, then."

_"Max."_  Alec cringes, hand slamming over his eyes. "That's not - why did you ... just, give me a second." He turns to Lincoln, a Shadowhunter only a few years older than Max, who's training to do administration and communications by essentially shadowing Alec and running tasks for him.

"Lincoln, can you please hand out the patrol schedules for the next week, and then organise the invitations towards the Downworlder cabinet leaders for the gala next month, before I forget."

Lincoln nods, his mop of blonde hair shaking with the movement. "Absolutely, sir." He takes the tablet from Alec and bustles off, quick and determined.

Alec shakes his head, with fond exasperation. Lincoln tries very hard, often to please but always to do the right thing, and Alec can connect with that all too well. Max still has his arms crossed over his chest, his foot tapping impatiently.

"You're moody." He states, when Alec turns to look at him.

Alec scoffs, waving an errant hand in Max's general direction. "Look who's talking. You're sixteen. Being moody is practically in your bloodstream."

Alec crosses over to the training floor, hopping the stairs two at a time, Max following close behind with heavy stomps. He drags his feet a lot, these days, as though he's reluctant to go anywhere. He's a genius, too, but Alec doesn't let him use that as an excuse for his actions.

"What are we doing?" Max asks. "I just came to ask you about something, not follow you like a lost puppy. I'm not Lincoln."

Alec barely turns around. Just pulls a bo staff off the wall and throws it at Max, trusting him to catch it, before reaching for his own. He taps the floor in front of Max, hard enough to create a resounding echo around the room, then steps back into position, feet planted.

"Lincoln is a good Shadowhunter, and a hard worker. Just because he didn't come from a Shadowhunter family, doesn't mean you, or anyone else, get to treat him like he's inferior."

Lincoln had ascended through the Academy, an orphan with the Sight and nowhere else to go, he'd found a home at the New York Institute, and Alec is damned if he'll let anyone make him feel anything less than like he belongs.

"He scuttles around," Max pouts. "It's embarrassing."

Alec rolls his eyes, and taps the inside of Max's leg with his staff. "Widen your position." He instructs, voice firm. Max concedes, begrudgingly, his staff raised in front of him.

He tilts the staff, aiming at Alec's knee, but Alec has already blocked it, twisting the other end to hit Max's shoulder. "That's one." He returns to his prior position. "What Lincoln does is none of your business. You should be focusing on your training and not what others do."

Max huffs, twirling his staff in his hand. He's an odd mix between Jace's pride and Isabelle's genius, but Alec can see the fight inside him that comes within all Lightwood's, the same fire that had lit Alec's path.

He's not above keeping Max in line, to teach him about respect, and how things are done, but at the same time he understands that Max  _is_  just a teenager, and is bound to mess up, supposed to think he's better than others because youthful arrogance is addictive and ever-present.

They spar back and forth for a while in calm silence, the only noise the chatter of the control room in the back and their staffs clapping together. Max gets a few hits in on Alec, but by the time Alec calls a break, he's upped his little brother by five, his smug grin a little grating on Max's pride.

Alec prods at Max's shoulder with the end of his staff, amused by Max's indignant pout. He likes being brought down a notch about as much as Jace does, but it's important that he understands that no matter how good he is, there will always be someone else who is better than him.

"What did you want to ask me about?"

Max looks up, sharply. "Huh?"

"Earlier," Alec waves a hand, a broad explanation. "You said you came to ask me about something. What is it?"

Almost instantly, something inside of Max withers. His shoulders droop, hands tightening around his staff. "Oh, that." He shrugs, offering a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "It's nothing, forget about it."

Alec frowns, his staff hanging loose from his hand. He reaches out, hand squeezing Max's shoulder, firm but encouraging. "Max, if something is bothering you, tell me. I'm not going to judge." He pauses, considering Max's almost skittish energy. "Is it about Mom, or Dad?"

Max shakes his head, gaze cast down. "It's not about them, it's - it's nothing."

"Max-"

"I don't want you to forget about me." Max gushes, the eruption of a simmering volcano, feelings bottled down until they have no choice but to burst out.

Alec remembers being the same, how toxic and unhealthy keeping such thoughts in, yet at the same time how impossible the idea of telling someone about them was. He's a little better at opening up these days, not that it's easy, and sometimes he finds himself keeping quiet, but his thoughts and concerns are hardly ever this ruthless in their escape.

"Max ... what?" Alec shakes his head, in an attempt to clear it. "Why would I forget about you?"

Max hunches his shoulders. "You won't, of course you won't, like I said just - just forget it. It's nothing."

Alec bites his tongue, taking the staff from Max's hand with thoughtful silence, returning both to the rack where they belong. He guides Max by the shoulder, towards the bench off to the side, short and flat, perfect for just taking a minute or, in this case, an impromptu pep talk.

"Max, what's brought this on?" Alec asks, once they're both seated. "And don't try and tell me it's nothing, because that's just bullshit, and we both know it."

Max hangs his head, elbows resting on his knees, hands wringing together before him. He got his tall, endless lankiness from Alec, too. "You're just, you're so busy, and I get that, it's your job and, whatever, but you're also married and - I'm not stupid Alec, I know that when people get married, they have kids, and seeing you apart from Magnus, I just - I know that you'd choose your new family over us-"

"Max." Alec tries to snap, but his voice comes out thin and fractured. "Max, I-" He scrubs a hand over his face, trying to order his thoughts before he says something that could be taken the wrong way, but his insides are torn and twisted and he feels like he's been thrown into a frozen ocean.

"I'm not going to forget about you," Alec croaks out. Max refuses to look, so Alec just angles himself closer, hands hovering hesitantly. "I couldn't ever forget about you, Max, you're my brother, you  _are_ my family."

"But Magnus-"

"Magnus is my husband, he is my family, yes, but he isn't my only family. I'm not going to leave you behind in favour of him, nor would he want me to. Yeah, it's a possibility that we might have kids one day, I know I'd  _like_ to, but that doesn't mean that you stop being important."

Alec wraps an arm around Max's shoulder, pulling him in until Max's head is begrudgingly tucked beneath his chin. "You will always be my scrappy, brilliant, pain-in-the-ass younger brother, and that will never change."

Max scoffs, but leans into the hug nonetheless. "I thought Jace was the pain in your ass," He grumbles.

"You all are," Alec drops a kiss to the top of Max's head. "It's a package deal." Alec pauses, pulling back a little, his arm still wrapped tightly around Max. "You know, even when Magnus and I have kids, we'll need you around."

Max lifts his head, eyes bright with uninhibited curiosity. "Yeah?"

Alec rolls his eyes in an obnoxiously exaggerated gesture. "Don't be dumb, of course we will. Who's going to be the fun, trickster uncle that takes them out for ice-cream and threatens the safety of Magnus' Ming dynasty vase by teaching them soccer inside?"

A stream of emotions flickers over Max's face, expression eventually settling on awe. "I'd get to be an uncle," He says, quiet with a hint of surprise, as though he'd just considered it. "I think I'd be a pretty cool uncle."

"You'll be an awesome uncle," Alec assures him. "Just as you're an awesome brother. Don't forget that, okay?"

Max nods. "Okay." He rakes a hand through his hair, gaze flicking around sheepishly. "Thanks, Alec. I really appreciate it."

"Hey," Alec claps a hand on Max's shoulder. "It's what brothers are for."

Supporting each other, Alec thinks, as Max stands up and brushes the nonexistent dust off himself, is what family is for. It's what his family has been doing for him while Magnus is gone, what Magnus himself has done his best to do, even being gone.

Alec has always believed that family is everything, and some days, he can't believe his luck that his family has expanded so much, to include so many wonderful people that he wouldn't know what to do without.

 

* * *

 

It's been a few months, since Alec has seen Aline, and for a moment, as the heavy-set Institute doors swing behind him, he thinks he might just be lucky enough to get a hug. It is a short, and fleeting moment full of foolish hope.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Alec frowns, slowing down his quick pace. Apparently a hug is out of the question. "I'm sorry, am I supposed to be somewhere else?"

Aline crosses towards him, hands perched on her hips. "Yeah, with your gorgeous husband, preferably in bed, definitely with less clothes on and not  _here._ "

Alec sighs. He'd hoped he could make it at least an hour before this came up. "Magnus is away, he was called out to consult on a case of missing young warlocks, and besides, I have work to do."

Aline stares with wide and disbelieving eyes. "Work to ... Alec, it's your birthday."

"Yes, I am aware." Alec has never been a big fan of his birthday, not much for the all-eyes-on-him and sole attention that such a day brings, but more than that, he's never really understood why the world should stop just for him.

Aline, it seems, is of the same opinion a lot of others hold, that the day should be one of celebration and, while that is fine, Alec can't see the point in wasting time he could be spending better elsewhere.

"I feel like you don't understand what birthdays are for, Alec, which is a shame, because birthdays are awesome." Aline wraps a hand around his forearm, pulling him forward. "So, as your caring friend and the clearly incredible person I am, I will take this great duty upon myself to make this day the best I can, although definitely not  _the best_  as your hunk of a man isn't here to celebrate it with you."

"For a self-proclaimed "very, very gay" woman-" Alec struggles to fight the smile tugging at his mouth. "You seem to have quite an interest in my husband."

"Well," Aline waves her hand before her. "I'm not blind, Alec. Or stupid. Please, don't insult my intelligence - you and I, we're the kind of people who deserve the best in life, and clearly, we have it."

"Where is Helen?" Alec asks, inquiring of Aline's wife; they've been married for almost as long as Magnus and himself have.

"Helen had to stop by the Los Angeles Institute to check up on the Julian and Emma and the rest of the kids. She'll be here by the weekend, for your party."

Alec groans, reluctantly following Aline, not that she is giving him much choice. "I don't need a party, Aline."

Aline squeezes his forearm. "Too bad." She replies, sounding very pleased about it all. "You're having one. It's all been taken care of."

"Of course it has."

 

* * *

 

 

Aline ends up dragging Alec out for lunch, her treat, at a mundane little hole-in-the-wall joint that contains a warm atmosphere contrasting the crumbling exterior. The place isn't busy, but there is enough people there to create a light bubble of comfortable chatter around them - Alec has become a lot more accustomed to mundanes than he used to be, and whilst he isn't always comfortable, he does know how to better handle it.

Besides, he's with Aline, who is far more outgoing and assertive than he needs to be, with the added bonus of a resting  _don't dare getting close_  face. They've all grown up as they've aged, but some things simply do not change.

Such as Aline's incessant desire to ask all the, arguably intrusive, questions she can think of.

"So," Aline steals a fry from Alec's plate with a cheeky grin that dares him to object. "Any big plans for when Magnus gets back?"

There are no cliched winks or wiggling eyebrows or over-exaggerated nudges, but the implication of them all hums beneath the surface of her words. Alec sighs, but doesn't give Aline the satisfaction of rolling his eyes, because he knows that will amuse her to no end.

"Not, really." Alec shrugs, stirring his straw in his thickshake - Aline had claimed that birthdays don't have rules and considering it is her money, Alec doesn't really feel it's his place to argue. "I don't know when he'll be home, and even when he is, he'll probably be too tired for anything. It's a pretty big task he's undertaking, it's not like what we do, his magic is tied to him, and the more he uses the more energy it takes - I can't imagine he'll want to do anything but sleep."

Aline offers Alec a kind, sympathetic smile. "I can understand that." She says. "I mean, I know that looking after Helen's siblings is nowhere near the same thing as what Magnus does, but keeping track of those rascals tires  _me_ enough to sleep for an entire week."

Helen has seven siblings, for all intents and purposes - six half-siblings, and a sister in all but blood, for how close they are. Being married to Helen, Aline has attached herself to the entire Blackthorn family, and despite her irritated claims, Alec knows that she adores them as though they are her own siblings.

"I don't want to push him into anything, you know?" It's rhetorical, because of course Aline knows, she always does. "He always works so hard, and he always pushes himself to do the best for others, without care to himself ... I don't want him to squander energy on things that aren't important when he could be get well-needed rest."

Aline tuts. "You don't always have to be a self-sacrificing idiot, you know?" She softens, but there's more to it, a protectiveness beneath the surface that is rare as it is heartwarming. "It's your birthday, Alec, which I'm sure that your husband knows. Even if, angel forbid, he doesn't come home for another week, he's going to want to celebrate with you in some capacity or another."

"I'm not saying he can't help, celebrate-" Alec frowns, the words sour on his tongue. "Celebrate today, but just - after, after he's slept and eaten something, once I know that he's  _okay_  and not going to pass out on his feet."

Aline shakes her head, leaning back in her seat, arm slung along the back of her chair with a casualty that implies she's giving in, for now, but only for now and only because it is Alec's birthday.

"You're literally the most cliched, sappy couple I have ever known. You'd argue over defending the other in a fight, you'd go to the end of the world to keep each other safe at the risk of yourselves, and I'm sure, that the proposal story you tell about Tokyo isn't true because in reality you proposed to each other at the same time at the Eiffel Tower or something equally as cheesy."

Alec refuses to meet her gaze, heat lighting his cheeks. It wasn't quite like that, the proposal. It wasn't at the Eiffel Tower, nor was it in Tokyo like they say - it had happened at home, Alec had blurted out the question, because it had hit him, in the moment, that he wanted to marry Magnus ... and then Magnus had laughed, warm and full, and pulled a tiny velvet box out of the bedside drawer, because he'd been planning it longer than Alec had realised.

Aline doesn't need to know that, though. Tokyo is the story they chose, and it is the one that Alec is going to stick with.

"When Helen was sent on research to Wrangel Island you followed her, and that was before you were even married - and you  _hate_  the cold." Alec points out, with a smirk of his own. Two can play at this game. "Not to mention the tedious Council meetings you sat through back when it was a crush just because Helen was a representative - I'm not sure you paid attention to a single word anybody else said."

Aline shrugs. "Nobody else had anything interesting to say."

"Of course," Alec feigns an agreement, all whilst stifling laughter that threatens to bubble up his throat. "I mean, I can't say anything in response without being a complete hypocrite-"

Aline raises her knife, almost threateningly. "Exactly!"

It's nice, Alec thinks, to be spending his birthday this way. With no offence towards Aline, or any of his siblings - it isn't perfect, or all that ideal, but it's a nice way to waste time before the sun sinks into the horizon and he's that much closer to having Magnus back.

If he has to spend this day without Magnus, he can at least spend it with people he loves, who he can poke and tease with, to distract himself from the growing hole that aches with a steady pulse behind his ribcage.

 

* * *

 

The loft is quiet, as it has been for days now, and part of Alec wishes that he had gotten used to it, that the silence and the emptiness didn't still haunt him, but he's become accustomed to it being the two of them, and without Magnus ... Alec feels a little lost.

Magnus is a  _part_ of him. Warm and bright and buried beneath Alec's skin, curled up inside a heart made for Magnus and Magnus alone - his absence is something Alec feels as keen as a seraph blade twisted in his gut.

Still. There isn't anything Alec can do - he'd gotten a message from Magnus yesterday, wishing him a good birthday in advance, which by all rights implies that Magnus won't be home today, which - well, it sucks, but there isn't any point in fretting over something he has no control over.

He drops his boots off at the door, gear with it, and trudges into the bedroom to get changed into something a little more comfortable. Off goes his gear, replaced instead with grey sweatpants that barely stay on his hips and a loose tank that he's pretty sure Magnus uses during his workouts.

It's a small comfort, but he's learnt to treasure them the most.

Alec trudges back into the main area of the loft, considering what to do with the rest of his night, as he's been banned from taking any work home, and apart from the episodes of  _Arrow_  saved up - a show Alec had started ironically but then started to really enjoy, much to Magnus' unbridled glee - he doesn't have much to do.

He could sit on the couch and lament his husband's absence, but that seems a little dark for a birthday, and even if he isn't one for attention, he doesn't want to bring himself down.

Magnus is away, but it's temporary, he'll be back soon-

"Happy Birthday, darling."

Alec skids to a halt, hands folded over his chest instinctively. Sooner, apparently, than he thought.

"Magnus?" He can't help it, the name slipping out, a desperate hand reaching for an anchor, for some semblance of confirmation that this isn't all a dream.

Magnus looks good enough to have been a dream. Tight black pants that cuff at silver ankle boots, a ridiculously well-fitting cobalt shirt that hugs his biceps in the best possible way, trimmed with silver thread that glints in the artificial lighting of the apartment, buttoned only halfway, necklaces layered down his bare chest in deliberately varied lengths. His hair is dipped in blond, curled over his forehead, and his makeup is gentle but not heavy, barely even there were Alec not trained by this point to notice.

He's gold and light and warmth - he is the balm to heal Alec's aching soul.

"I can't believe you're here," Alec gushes, the words spilling from him like a waterfall in their endless haste to float in the air between them. "Magnus, you're here. You're actually here."

It's possible that Magnus moves, though he wouldn't need to, for how quickly Alec's long legs close the distance between them. Strong arms encircle his waist, protective and comforting - Alec tucks his head against Magnus' neck, calmed by the pulse beneath Magnus' skin, the heat radiating from him, the physical tangibility of him.

Alec could never dream Magnus up. Magnus is etheral and unimagineable and nothing Alec's mind could ever hope to conjure would ever live up to the reality that is his husband.

"I can't believe you're here." Alec whispers the words into Magnus' skin, a desperate reverance. "I've missed you so much."

Magnus presses a kiss to Alec's temple, kind and delicate. "I missed you too, angel, more than I ever believed that I could. But I'm here now, and we're going to celebrate your birthday - the right way, the good way."

Alec notes the innuendos lying beneath the surface, but he ignores it, choosing his own path. "Together?"

Magnus laughs, the sound ghosting over Alec's ear. "Absolutely."

Alec tightens his arms around Magnus, as though if he squeezes hard enough he'll never have to let him go again. "Good." He sounds petulant, he knows, but he doesn't care, because it's been too long and desperation makes people do things without care.

"That's the only way I want to celebrate."

 

* * *

 

"Next time something like this comes up, you're coming with me. I don't care what the stuffy Clave says, I don't think I can handle being apart from you for that long again."

Alec lifts his glass, clinking the side with Magnus'. "That is an idea I can get behind. This was stupid."

Magnus nods, sagely. He shuffles closer to Alec, hips pressed together, his arm wrapped around Alec's waist. "I am sorry," He says, fingers stroking idle patterns beneath Alec's tank. "It wasn't mean to take so long - I was never supposed to miss your birthday."

Alec shrugs, leaning into Magnus' warmth. "You didn't miss my birthday."

He lifts Magnus' arm, careful of his drink, to check the very intricate and expensive watch wrapped around his wrist - he focuses on the miniature clock down the bottom and not the other circles that track celestial movement or placement of the planets or some other thing that Magnus understands and Alec never could.

"It's my birthday for another twenty minutes." Alec points out. "Plenty of time. It counts."

Magnus drops a kiss on the top of Alec's head. "If you say so, darling. It is your day, after all."

Alec places his glass on the table, glancing at Magnus over his shoulder. "Damn right," He declares. It feels nice to quip back-and-forth, but more than that, he just likes that Magnus is back. He feels like a hole inside of him has been filled, Magnus' mere presence enough to calm him, because what is there to be agitated about when Magnus is cuddled up beside him?

Absolutely nothing.

"So," Magnus inclines his head slightly, head a few inches from Alec's. "What did I miss, when I was gone? Anything interesting?"

Alec shrugs, distracted by the flicker of familiar gold in Magnus' unglamoured eyes. "The usual, monotonous-" He cuts himself off. Magnus frowns, but doesn't interrupt, simply lets Alec work through the fog in his mind.

Alec twists, knee resting atop Magnus' leg, arm pressed to his shoulder. He needs to face Magnus for this kind of heavy conversation, but at the same time, not touching him is simply not an option.

"Max said something interesting to me the other day," Alec hasn't been able to stop thinking about it since, Max's words rattling around the back of his mind, incessant and troubling. "About, us."

Magnus places his glass on the table next to Alec's, sensing the severity of the situation. "Okay," Magnus breathes in deeply, steeling himself. Alec reaches out and takes Magnus' hand in his , thumb stoking over his knuckles soothingly.

"It's nothing that bad," Alec assures him. "Just, caught my attention, that's all."

Magnus nods, offering Alec a kind smile, hand squeezing his. "You've piqued my interest now, darling, don't leave me hanging."

Alec smiles, dazedly, struck by how calmed and settled he feels, now that Magnus is back. He knew, before Magnus left, that it wouldn't be easy being so far apart, but he hadn't quite realised how agitated he'd been in Magnus' absence. He hadn't felt so, unsettled, since he and Magnus had first met.

It's an indication of both how far he's come with accepting himself and finding happiness, but just how intertwined he's become with Magnus, how lost and adrift he feels without an anchor to keep him from floating away.

Even after so many years of being together, Alec still finds new depths of his soul that yearn for Magnus'.

"I love you," He says, wandering down a tangent because Magnus is  _here_ , real and visceral before him and Alec has ached for this more than he could ever explain.

Magnus smiles, giddy and warm, eyes alight with the kind of affection that is strong enough to drown in. "I'm sure that's not what Max said," He quips, head titled. "But, I love you too."

Alec rolls his eyes, but then Magnus' lips are on his and he can do nothing but sigh and lean in, a thirst deep inside of him quenched. His nose bumps against Magnus', the kiss slow and sweet, and when they pull apart it takes little time for smiles to grow, blinding in their affect.

"I'd say I'm sorry," Alec shrugs. "If I was. I missed you, and you're back, and I love you, so I'm going to say it."

Magnus lifts their joined hands, pressing a kiss to the knuckle beneath Alec's wedding ring. "Distance can't dissuade the strength of my love for you, Alexander - however, it's stronger with you next to me than simply in the forlorn space of my desperate, searching mind."

"I'm glad you're back, too." Alec says, shooting straight and direct as opposed to dancing around with tripping words the way Magnus so adores to. He doesn't need embellishments or illustrated prose - he just speaks from the heart, the only way he knows.

"So," The hesitation has returned to Magnus' tone. "What did Max say?"

Alec glances at Magnus' wedding ring, remembering the gold and the cheers and the smiles that caused an ache in their cheeks but refused to fade until long after their honeymoon had ended.

Magnus is his family, in all senses of the term, but he can't imagine being without his siblings, either.

"He said he was worried that I would forget about him, because of ... you." Alec rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. "That, being married I'd, well, put you before him."

"I would never ask you to do that." Magnus interrupts, gently, eyes wide and imploring. "I could never ask you to choose between me and your siblings."

"Fortunately," Alec admires Magnus' sentiment despite it's pointlessness. "I won't ever have to. Which I explained to him, but then he said that, essentially, he was worried that if we had kids I'd put more effort into them and that he'd be neglected, I guess, which - clearly he wouldn't because he'd be an uncle, but I mean we haven't even talked about kids yet-"

"Would you like to?"

Alec freezes, Magnus' words catching him more than just a tad off-guard. "Would-" He pauses, clears his throat, Magnus' warm gaze never leaving him. "Would I like to talk about kids?"

"Talk ... or have-" Magnus shrugs, aiming for nonchalance, but Alec can tell that nerves are starting to creep in, scuttle beneath the surface. "I know we've discussed it in a vague sense, but I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't been considering it more seriously in recent times."

Magnus straightens, his hand tightening against Alec's. "Being apart from you was horrible, but it got me thinking about how hard it would be to leave if we had a child together, the other side of that coin being how  _amazing_ it would be to return to you and a little bundle of joy of our own."

Magnus smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I've never entertained the idea of children of my own because, as a warlock it's simply not a possibility, just as I'd never considered marriage because I'd never before had the luck of finding someone who wanted to tie their life to mine, regardless of length."

Alec knows, he remembers the tears that had flooded Magnus' eyes the first time he brought up marriage, before proposals were a reality, just when it was a fleeting idea that Alec wanted to discuss before his nerves took over and it became another thing that buzzed beneath the surface, never to see the light of conversation.

Alec thinks that all those before him are dumb, for not appreciating how amazing Magnus is - alas, it is their loss, and his wonderful gain.

"You have that, now." He whispers.

Magnus huffs a soft, breathy laugh, a smile carving like it would be impossible to resist. "I do, and it is something I doubt I'll ever quite come to terms with, though my gratitude extends past any doubt."

Alec's heart skips in his chest, because it hasn't learnt over the years to  _keep it cool_  when Magnus speaks charming and honest.

"Which brings up the matter of children," Magnus continues, bearing his own heart, ribcage pulled apart to reveal all there is to see. "Being married to you is, without a doubt, one of the best and most important things I've ever had the privilege of experiencing, but it has dispelled the fear of being a parent, because if you love me enough to pledge your life to mine even knowing how it will inevitably end..."

Magnus smiles, the corners weak and a tiny part of Alec's heart splinters at the sight. There is not enough space inside of him to contain the force of his affections, a love that is only heightened by Magnus' outpour of endearing truths.

"I'm not saying we have to look into it right away, obviously there are things we'd both have to figure out and organise before we could logistically introduce a  _child_  into our hectic environment, but I want to, Alec, one day, soon if the universe allows it-" Magnus leans in, slowly, until there is nothing for Alec to see but his kind eyes glittering with hope and unshed tears. "I would love nothing more than to adopt a child with you."

Alec blinks, furiously, before tears can spill because he wants to be clear and composed when he replies.

"You'd be a wonderful father," Alec says, because he knows it, he knows it deep inside his soul where his love for Magnus sits, where his own desire to be a parent patiently waits. "You care so deeply and strongly and with your entire being - of course I would love to adopt a child with you."

Magnus lifts his hand, thumb caressing Alec's cheek, fingers curled against his neck. "I used to think that there was something wrong with me," The corner of his mouth quirks, just slightly. "Because I could never find anyone who loved me enough to stay."

Alec worries at his bottom lip, biting his metaphorical tongue to keep from interrupting, though all he wants to do is promise Magnus that there is  _nothing_  wrong with him, that he is in all the ways that matter completely and utterly perfect.

"I was wrong, but it's only now that I think I understand why." Magnus's smile is gentle and beautiful. "I've never been married before, simply because I hadn't met you. You are the person I was meant to marry, to spend my life with, and everyone before you - even those I've loved with all I have, were not the right fit. There was always something, be it small or ocassionally insignificant, that kept us both from making that comittment."

Magnus inclines his head, slightly. "And then I met you. And there was never any doubt that this was meant to happen for the two of us. We were meant to get married, to share this incredible love, and I truly believe that adoption is simply another step in the path of our lives together."

Alec surges forward, hand wrapped around Magnus' arm, because there are  _no words_  eloquent enough to summarise all that is inside his heart, all the burning love that consumes him from the inside out like a raging wildfire.

The kiss is sweet and slow, passion simmering beneath the surface, clouded by the endless affection tacked to their feet like an extra shadow, inescapable and undeniable.

It would be foolish of them to presume that adopting a child will be easy, or that it would be a smart idea for them to do it immediately without consideration of the effect it will have on them both, but it is more than just an idea, or a concept, it is a promise.

One day, perhaps if luck permits in the near-future, Alec and Magnus will adopt a child, together, they'll have the fortune to add to the little family they've created together.

For a man who lived centuries without the belief he was good enough for marriage, and a man who grew up thinking that love was meant for everyone but him - it's a miracle and a gift that they find themselves, married, discussing children as a viable and future possibility, and not one that either will squander.

For all his years alive, Alec thinks that this might just be the best birthday he's ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> .. does the fluff make up for Magnus' absence??? 
> 
> wedding song featured is 'I Get To Love You' by Ruelle because it is malec's song okay I don't make the rules (Lu does - it's all her fault ❤)
> 
> if you caught the Rent reference you are my new best fiend ;) 
> 
> LINKS: 
> 
> Twitter: [ninwrites](https://mobile.twitter.com/ninwrites) for fic stuff/updates/snippets + [malteser_24](https://mobile.twitter.com/malteser_24) for general fandom mess
> 
> Tumblr: [killjoyrow](http://killjoyrow.tumblr.com/)
> 
> {if you want to live-tweet, use #malteser24 - I promise I read them all!}
> 
> thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it - feel free to hit up my socials and talk/cry/scream with me about this, or malec in general ❤
> 
> \- Nin ❤


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